Saturday, July 18, 2009

Are You Sure?

I'm still trying to get my head around this whole being a dad thing. Thursday we found out that the baby we've been calling "CinnaBun" is a boy and since that's the case it looks like his name will be McKinley David. So my head has been filled with thoughts of watching football and baseball together, reading any number of books together, rocking out in the car (check the video below for a glimpse) and all the things that I'm sure every dad wants to do with their son. Don't get me wrong, I had a lot of these same thoughts before we knew the sex and I even pictured doing them with a little red headed girl. My mind also drifts some times to thoughts of failing or being completely inept at being a dad. Everyone I know seems pretty confident that I'm gonna do fine, but there are times when I don't share that same confidence. Like any dad I want the absolute best for my child and that includes the best dad. I have no doubts that before He created the earth my Heavenly Father planned to entrust this child to to Shasta and I for this time and this place. I just find myself wondering why and asking "Are you sure about this. God?" I am totally in awe of the fact that the Creator of this universe, whose desire is that everyone know him as the perfect father, has chosen me to be a picture of a father to McKinley and while there is some trepidation there is decidedly more joy and nervous anticipation. But it's the kind of anticipation you have as the roller coaster is chugging up the hill before that first big drop. Hands up y'all HERE....WE....GOOOOOOOOOooooooo!!!!!


Shasta said...

I think the feelings are common with both mother and father. I'm the same way at times. Will I be able to do this? I know I've been a nanny for sooo long, but it's not the same as having your own. I'm looking forward to the journey, especially since it's with you!! We love you!!

Dawn said...

Guess what! you're gonna feel like this forever--it never goes away--the doubt about your ability to parent! just when you think you might be passable at it, something comes up to rock your boat! Just keep depending on the Lord as you have and know that if you're doing the best you can, The Lords' in control and it's out of your hands!

Samantha said...

Tim the Tool Man Taylor said (in much funnier words, I'm sure,) that the knowledge you need to have for your child relates to their age. So, just think, when McKinley is 6 weeks old, you will be an expert at that age level, 'cuz, you, too, will be a "Six-week-old-Dad!
And, thankfully, when he turns 16, you will have 16 years experience under your belt. But, until that time, you know the very best thing you can (and will) do is pray for him and what his future holds.
Other than that, enjoy every moment - now, while the house is still relatively quiet - and very soon, when he's bouncing in your arms!

Kendra said...

I think you're going to be an awesome dad!

I have actually told my mom before that I wish someone like you was my dad.

You and Shasta are more than cut out for this!